The Black Cat Blue Sea Award

Meg nominated me to answer three questions about myself.

  1. Why do you keep writing?
  2. If you could change one thing about this world, what would it be and why?
  3. Who are you? (You can’t just say your name, that’s cheating).

 

These will be the questions I will be answering this evening.

  1. Why do you keep writing?

I originally started writing as an output to my emotion as I held everything in. For the most part on this blog, this is what I do, to release myself of an emotion, good, bad, neutral, painful, happy, whatever the reason; I do it to rid myself of undesired feelings.

That being said, writing is something I started eight years ago. I met someone, who felt important to me in the type of an Eros way. I was in a very different place back then. I came across so, so, so many things that I did not understand about myself, other people,and things that happened back then. She, being one of them. Writing helped me work through each, and every difficulty one by one, and helped me understand myself for who I was. It has helped me over the years to show me my true face as when I write I seem unable to spin a lie. I may misdirect the truth or leave details out but I just can’t lie. It’s difficult for me.

In writing, it is the truest face of my soul that you see. I’m still building this part of me, in the sense that it has taken me so long to free myself of restricting chains like ‘What will others think of me?’ and the anxiety that comes with the social aspect of life. In fact, writing has helped me come to a position in my life where I feel comfortable with myself. I keep writing because not only do I have a story to tell, but because the feelings, and emotions that are always running through my head will be one day conquered, and I’d like to show anyone who feels similarly that it is possibly to conquer them; that it is not something you should be afraid of.

The same way that when someone described the things I believed in, when it comes to my spiritual side of life, they said, “There are some people who read books, texts, and scriptures, and some people who write them.” It made me giggle, and by no means do I ever think I would be someone who would one day write something on par with a holy book, but I love the idea that some people read stories, and some people write them. I want to show meaning, and carry on my idealism of overcoming any obstacle. I used to be terrible at writing, and over time I think I’m improving. I have a long way to go, but it’s a start.

2. If you could change one thing about this world, what would it be and why?

If there was something I could change about this world, I would change the pretense that being perfect in a skill, a characteristic, or feature is what is most desired. The idealism that perfection is something to chase… it is very toxic. Now, I’m personally a hopeless romantic, and sure, I make many mistakes, and I may be good with some people, and good with handling myself, but I’ve never wanted to be perfect in the way that I am because it wouldn’t be me. It might sound strange. I have a different set of skills. If I can meet every obstacle in front of me with a smile on my face, then I’m in the place I want to be in. I don’t care if sometimes I fail, or I do not perfect everything, I want to be the person who overcomes everything, even if barely. So I can say in my life, “I did that. I am proud to be me.” and that happiness with yourself is something more desirable, than perfection or being the best.

3. Who are you? (You can’t just say your name, that’s cheating).

This is a question I’ve been asking myself for a very long time, and it falls under the category of one of the biggest questions someone can ask themselves. Now, I thought myself nothing when I was younger. I just didn’t like myself, who I was, my physical body, how weak my mind was, how emotionally driven I was, and I didn’t believe in anything. I wasn’t sure whether I would even live very long, I just had this thing about how everyone who is too close will hurt me.

Now, the person I am today, is someone who can be described as having fire in their eyes, and in their heart. First, (which I know one or two will laugh at this) I am a human radiator… I do not get cold, I am always warm-boiling, and the guy who would happily wear shorts in snow. Moving on… I am someone who gives 100% in the people around him, and once he falls for someone that is it. I think that’s one of the problems I face is that in my mind, I am drawn to a few people, not personality types, which is why it’s so confusing for me, but when I find someone, I just know and fall hard, and fast. Even if it doesn’t work.

That being said though, I care not for names, nor the colour of hair, or the features on someone’s shell (their skin) I care for what is inside, and that’s who I am. I am the type of person who can look past any appearance and see beauty inside of someone, and though cynical… and once believing in nothing, I now believe in everything. I do not worship a god, or a devil, or some deity, or even some mystical force/being… but I believe in the power of the people who are around you, and when you really meet someone who wants to stand up, it is the most amazing feeling ever. I hope that is the same feeling people get when they meet me.

Because, I am a fool who will always help the people around him, or even help the people further than that, or just simply help people. The problem with that is that I get caught up into drama, and get drawn into battles that are not of my own. I get blamed for things that are not my fault, and get hated for reasons unknown. However, lately, I’ve been changing the way I think, and growing out of that shell of negativity, and into something much more beneficial, and helpful… a way of thinking that boasts a positive way of life. If I could describe myself in any way; I am someone who will stand up no matter how many times I fall down, and I will over come every obstacle that stands in my way. It doesn’t matter how big, or how tall the obstacle is, I will over-come it, break through it, or find a way around it.

The most important person, who externally makes me who I am is my daughter. So much has happened since I’ve had her and much of these adjustments in my life has happened because of her, and she will one day figure out how important she is to me, but I can wait a little longer before she figures out that she is the most important person to me.

My name is Daniel, and though names mean very little to me, I am who I am, and the only person who can change me is me. I will always have a place for the people I have fallen for in my heart, and I will always extend my arm to people who need me.

Thank you Megan, for your nomination, but I think I got a little soppy there.

Have a great day everyone, and I hope you enjoy this read.

‘Believe in yourself, for when you don’t, I will. This is but a brick in a very long wall.’

 

If I were to nominate anyone it would be :

  1. Musingstomypanda
  2. ValleysAngel92
  3. Ceri
  4. Lulu

The questions would be:

  1. What makes you, you?
  2. What do you believe in?
  3. Is there something you would change about yourself, if you could?
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