A bitter taste

“But somewhere along the line you changed. You Stopped being you. you let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. you, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get it, and keep moving forward. how much you can take, and keep moving forward.” – Rocky Balboa

There are many things in life that you come across which you are completely unprepared for; be it having children, dealing with conflict, personal or political, depressions and anxieties, and social change, losing time, and many more things. Something that I don’t think anyone is prepared for is war.

War is something that is as old as we are, and some people argue that it is in human nature to war and to fight, to kill, and to take, because of we, as homo sapiens seem hellbent on the savagery of our most primal instinct. Arguably powerful men argue over the longstanding argument which has plagued kingdoms and nations for as far back as we have recorded history: We need war for peace.

I’ve always believed there needs to be a balance, which is why you hear of these great times, where civilisations rose and fell overnight from plagues and sicknesses like the natural balances are restoring. Is this argument, that primal instinctual drive collective, unconscious, something that naturally creates monsters so that we can face a time of hardship and self-destruct?

Spiritualists talk about the idea that each and every one of us has a monster inside of us, lurking and churning, waiting for us to make a mistake so it can seep in its claws.

The thing is, I don’t believe we are restricted to our past or our unwelcome behaviour. I think war is for the weak, and killing, damaging, hurting, cursing, and destroying is for the weak. I don’t think it’s the case of our animal instincts luring us onto a path we can not return from.

I think we make a choice, and we need to ask ourselves whether we can do better.

Pain, in my belief, breeds beauty, and beauty is what I’ve seen over the last few years. When a bomb goes off,  like the one in Manchester did and you have hundreds of people helping, volunteering and acting out of love for their neighbour. People of all religions and of none, because religions do not define you. Such things where people automatically feel inclined to help and actually do help are such amazing people and they are people to look up to, without a doubt in my mind.

The people who are not people to look up to are people who stood, stumble and fall into darkness, into copying acts of human history with bigger toys because they’re too scared to try better ways. Now, I won’t pretend like our governments are perfect, neither here, nor there, nor anywhere but I’ll tell you this, whether it is us bombing them, or them bombing us it is wrong. That’s what I know.

You might think it’s cool or fine to bomb people because they’re foreign, or different, or don’t follow the same ethical code as you, but it isn’t. It’s the same for terrorists like the terrorist of Manchester, it is disgusting, and it is shameful.

Dozens and dozens of bomb threats have been raised since Manchester, and people have retaliated against their neighbours, sure, you might suspect your neighbour of being a terrorist, but there is nothing worse than revenge against people for sharing the same colour as a terrorist, or having a similar beard, or have been known to read the same book.

These people are sick with the delusion that what they are doing is right, and there will always be people who understand right from wrong but some people lose their fight to their monsters and become one. I’m not justifying actions or saying it is okay, but what I am saying is that we need to rise above this, and be better because what matters is now how we are hit, but what we do after we get hit. It should have never gotten to this point, but here we are because people are too scared to act even with the information they need to arrest and detain questionable people.

I feel uncomfortable and I don’t want to feel that way. Some people are treating this like a game of chess, and that people are pawns, well– they are not, have never been, and never will be…

Have a nice fucking day. Be better than that monster.

This has all left a bitter taste in my mouth that can no longer be ignored.

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