What kind of games do we like to play with each other?
One minute you could look me in the eye and tell me that you love me, and the next you could walk straight past me in the street. Is that love, a game, or the way we’re becoming nowadays? You know, you can spend the whole day scanning through social media without actually being social.
I know the feeling. I check facebook, reply to people with robotic responses because I’m not sure what to say, what to ask, what options to explore, and I’m afraid of making choices that seem too intense just in case things escalate and one becomes two.
It’s rarely conscious, though sometimes, it is. Maybe it’s that I don’t have enough time for someone, or that they’re not looking for me, but looking for someone to fill the void.
Maybe I’m looking to fill that void; is it possible that we are all searching for something to wake us up – to make us feel loved, understood, alive?
Just me then?
Maybe I’m just a sapiosexual, seeking out people who are intelligent or have that spark about them, which makes some others seem like rather dull flames. Or it could just simply be that my primal instinct is to look for someone who matches my DNA, who knows.
But I’m not sure what to really expect from someone who plays that game of hot and cold. When someone shows immense interest in you, and the next day they forget who you are. I don’t understand it. Though, I heard a friend say once that with men, they are fine until they speak and everything goes downhill from there. I had a giggle with this and found it quite amusing.
The thing is,
I’m not sure what direction to go in, whether to even bother anymore with the idea of finding someone. In fact, I think I’ve stopped and my brain is just catching up, waiting for someone I can bump into one day and fall.
On a side note, I’ve forgotten where I’m going with this, and as a divergence from the actual message, this blog post is supposed to have I’ve always wanted a double-headed coin so I can always toss it with the intention of giving something a go.
Maybe I should just think less.