So, after a very small, but successful barbecue which has lasted more than twelve hours I am sat here, early morning with an aching body and thought-obsessive mind. Now, you might think, “What do you have to think about?”
The thing I have to think about is that although people are friendly, and keep you company, sometimes, it’s hard to find someone, or people who respect you dearly for what you are, and respect your ways, and rules.
I don’t ask for much, the usual no drugs policy with me is abundantly clear, though.
I had a good night, and most of the people that showed up were trustworthy, and really pleasant; even the people I had only just met. My friend got a little bit too drunk and forgot four hours of the party, woke up late at night and stayed up talking to us until now.
I’m pretty much left on my own, where the three guests that stayed over are now asleep on my sofa, and I don’t know whether it is the fact that I’ve been in the sun too long, or whether I have come to the realisation that some people will never change, even if they are family.
I’ve come to realise that tonight was important to me, to relax and enjoy, and though I had to play parent for a while, I am now sat here, a little worried about certain people as they just disappeared without a word… and more so, without so much as a goodbye, or text to inform me of their whereabouts.
I write this with my hand aching, and my right arm having sharp pains running through it… Sometimes, times like these, I feel most alone, when clearing away the rubbish left in the wake of a party. It helps me utilize what’s left of my brain to dissolve the puzzles, fix them, and let them go from my mind.
Today had been an important discovery however, I found a spark with someone i’ve been close to for a long time; I have no idea what to do about it.
All in all, I’m retiring with a smile on my face, even though I’m in a little bit of pain… It was a night worth remembering, and I hope it was the same for others; I hope that it proved to be a good day for my Spanish friend, as it will be the last event she attends for a long time.
Other than that, a friend of mine owes me fifteen pound and a morning full of cleaning his sick out of a bucket, and another friend owes me a glass. Ha-ha.
It was nice to get a smile from someone close to me; I will be hopeful in the idea that the smile will be what imprints in my mind.
“Believe in yourself, for when you don’t, I will.”