I try my very best to be there for the people I call my friends. I really do. I get stressed, go out of my way for talks and I am always there to give advice. And though it sometimes tests my patience, and I end up in contemplative moods, or a little frustrated, I love seeing the smile on my friends faces when they felt like they had someone there, and know they can talk to me.
Last night we arranged to go out, about ten. Some cancelled, as some always do due to other responsibilities, and children… which is absolutely fine. The thing I do not like is when someone tells you they will go, and then they don’t show up. They don’t answer their phones, and it’s even worse when three hours before they promise someone they’d go.
That being said, we all have our reasons for not showing up, and not doing things we gave our word on. It is a big no no to me, because I always go out of my way for the same people. Always. So you can imagine my irritation with people when they disappear without an explanation or so much of a few words just saying, “Something came up, I’m sorry.”
Now, it would be different if I got stood up by the person, but I was with some lovely people who made it and we really did have about 7 or so hours of laughter, fun, a little bit of stress running around but all in all… we had a good time, I was sorry for the one friend who had to go home early due to issues with ID, and he thought he ruined our night. He didn’t. He really didn’t and we were all more than happy to sit with him in the cold until he got a ride home. That’s what friends do without a second thought, and I knew that was how the others felt too.
It was nice.
We ended up dancing for the last hour and a half, because… why not. I stupidly didn’t bring a jacket so I was absolutely fine with dancing, ha-ha.
This morning, after talks with a friend, I decided I can’t be close to the person anymore, due to feeling like if I say something she won’t like, I’ll be threatened by her boyfriend, and I don’t handle being threatened well… I’m fed up of hearing I’ve angered him, or pissed him off, aside from the concept behind men being primal, everything would have been different if he messaged me and simply said, “she’ll tell you in the morning” but I guess that is too much to ask from another human being.
Well, whatever happens, happens. I had a great time with a number of people and enjoyed myself. I dropped my phone, and nothing smashed, or chipped, so I’m brilliant!
I just want to write that I want to be there for as many people as I can, sometimes I walk away from people because they lose my respect, my sympathy, or refuse to help themselves. Sometimes, it’s more personal like a lover, or an ex… but I’m annoying enough to be there for someone when they ask me to be, if they’ve shown me a small amount of respect.
And that goes for anyone.
I told myself that I wouldn’t be taken into arguments and that I wouldn’t let it all get to me. It’s harder than I thought, but I’m doing this for me. I’m just done with feeling like I’m talking to more than one person when I talk to someone, and being asked to be honest and open when I don’t get the same response, sometimes at first, but sometimes at all.
I hope everyone enjoys their day, and please don’t feel I’m angry, or unhappy… I’m genuinely fine. The way I roll.