It has been lonely, truly. I have no reason for it and little time to think about it.
On nights like this when my brain catches up I find myself lying here for hours.
I helped someone sort out what they wanted today, this evening. I helped them understand their fears and desires and sat down and listened to what they had to say. It was lovely. It was a pleasure to look someone in the eyes and see their face when they genuinely like someone.
And after a few chats, some games, tv and a farewell I couldn’t help but sit down on my own and think about how something like that was what I longed for.
That feeling of being wanted, needed. The feeling of wanting/needing someone. I generally do feel lonely as of late but I hope that one day changes. Sometimes things are difficult. I’m on my own up here, away from family, and what little friends I had back in my hometown.
The only person to keep my daily company is my daughter. She’s my star but I would one day love a companion, someone who shares this life with me.
However, whatever happens, happens.
Maybe one day I’ll find someone who genuinely cares about me like that, who knows. I’m glad I made a few friends today.