The ups and downs of being more social

I’ve had one eventful couple of weeks, ranging from absolutely amazing days right down to the lowest, of bloody lows. I haven’t written in quite some time due to being so busy, writing a review… writing a 2,500 word short story, and writing a 5,000 word short story. That being said, I’ve not been in the greatest of moods. I mean, everyone has their ups and downs but seriously, not been in the best moods.

I’ve been having some trouble with a person from my past who has given me a bit of an unhappy thought or two. So, that was nice… Other than that I’ve been trying hard to get to know new people, and I made the mistake of showing interest in someone who was not what I thought she was. I mean, hey – it happens, right? However, I’m more interested in being alone now than I ever have been.

I wanted to try harder, and come more out of my shell because I’m fed up of being so reserved, not speaking what I’d like to say, and not telling people what I really think, or even taking risks. I always come across as being honest, but it takes a while to get to know me to the point where I am really, really honest. Though it does depend on the person.

I was getting mixed signals from someone but now it has all settled, the air cleared – and the outcome I come to was that I wasn’t really interested in the person at all. In fact, I was pleased by her honesty because she showed me sides to her that I really didn’t like, nor want around me. Things happen, I know – which is why I’m open to forgive and forget. I’ve made a point of sending her my thoughts and haven’t heard from her since, oops, my mistake. I just want to catch up with her, apologise for being a bit of a poop head, and hopefully carry on being classmates without an awkward tension.

After a weekend of a party, some tension, problems and a really good night I now know that all I’m looking for is just friends, until I find the right person. I don’t want to mess around or get myself into some weird position where I’m getting annoyed with myself for being such a tool. But hey, learning experiences, right?

I have been far too apologetic for my tastes recently, and want to get back to the point where I’m thinking of myself, I suppose that’s the problem when you’re always looking out for people…. For no reason! I just need to get myself to a point where I can be happy with myself, again. Ha.

I’ve also upset my friend with too much teasing, and at a point where I took time out of the day to go comfort her, and try and get past it all. So, all I hope now is that we can all just get past all the uncomfortable problems at the weekend, and move on with our lives. Drama, eh?


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